Why you lose yourself chasing passion.
After graduating from college, I decided to take a gap year to figure out my next steps to truly listen to my intuition and find out what exactly I wanted to do with my life outside of external sources. Not what society asks of me or my counselor, my parents, nor my friends-- just me, myself, and I. However, finding that inner voice has been such a struggle, with many uphill battles of self-doubt, unearthed emotional trauma, and fear for the unknown.
I’d like to think that we can find our passions with ease as well as with great concrete certainty in a tangible sense, but as I continued on this journey it’s become clearer every day that (to me at least) passion is rather a state of being than an actual physical activity or subject. Passion is the energy that you bring to the table, the conversation, the kindling that fuels the fire; it’s the momentum. I’ve found that chasing passion delays states of happiness because it takes us away from the present moment, perpetuating the detriment statement of “I’ll be happy when..” Happiness and success should never be conditional.
One of my most favorite books of all time is Don Miguel Ruiz’s, The Four Agreements and one of the agreements that come to mind around this subject is: “be impeccable with your word.” We make promises to ourselves and other people all the time, but do we live up to them? The promises that you make with yourself are the most important ones of all. Don’t promise conditions that delay your evolution or ones that you can’t keep. Be wise with your words! Make promises to yourself that better you and keep them, because it exemplifies your integrity and that to me is a true self-love practice.
Maybe you find yourself in a job or situation right now that doesn’t quite resonate with you 100%, and that’s okay. We’re all digging deep to find that inner voice, that ping of intuition to lead a more intentional and authentic life. Instead of setting out the goal of finding your passion, focus on being self-aware and discover what you’re really good at and start from there. Fall in love with this process and be passionately curious because it makes life a lot more colorful and fun.
Be passionately curious about this world, about people, about you, even that little ant on the ground. Our existence is a miracle in of itself, so be wise with your time and energy as well as who you spend it with. I’ve made so many promises to myself and broke them many times, but that doesn’t stop me from rising above and trying again. I’m done with that season because I am ready to step into my power and be the creator of my life. Change or remain the same, it’s up to you. So choose today, this moment, this minute, this second to make a difference that your future self will thank you. I love you endlessly and who you’re becoming!